you sound stupid when you talk.
but now that you know you will get over it.

i think that one day when i write my autobiography as a novel (not a memoir) i will also get a therapist so that somebody will have to read it and talk to me about it

if you fall off the path laid down before you it is very important that YOU DO NOT LOOK BACK. AT NO COST, FOR NO REASON WHAT SO EVER SHOULD YOU EVER. LOOK. BACK.

you will regret it if u do.

baby likes her chicken in bread

Updated from my iPad

THE BEST GROCERY LIST

ORGANIC COTTON ROUNDS
CONDITIONER
BLUE GRASS MUSIC
BABY ELEPHANTS
COCA COLA
WIPES
HOUSE SLIPPERS
SWEET TARTS
BABY CORN
LE FLEUR
SWEET YOUNG PEAS
COWBOY BOOTS
SMOKED SALMON
BORN ULTIMATUM DVD

i was much smarter in 2009.

Real life #1

Q: A very simple question?

A: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

Alternate life #1

Q: A very simple question?

A: Yes, anddddd you're very good looking.

You are in Hawaii drinking milk straight from the coconut. The girls hula and the native men juggle with fire as you languish under the waving fronds of the palm tree. ka-shhh ka-shhh the waves break softly in the distance. With a passing warm breeze comes the realization that you have never been closer to the end. The time has come to make your decision. Do you embrace your destiny or retaliate against this unrelenting force with every waking breath. What do you value more, free will or the path Gad has laid out before you. Relinquish your will or struggle daily for the will to live. These are all excellent questions.

Things I would rather be than a human being:

• an air conditioner
• a tomato plant
• The Great Depression
• a one dollar bill
• a dead fish
• Sloppy Joe
• a war torn nation
• a broken record
• a messy eater

"of course i'm going to use you and utterly destroy you"*

*in addressing:

• box of cereal
• pair of socks
• bottle of pomegranate flavored body wash
• whipits
• teacup shih tzu

Build your log cabins

get on your wild horses and ride into the Simple life
with Paris Hilton

TRIAL BY FIRE

TRIAL BY FIRE

CHILDREN TOO YOUNG TO WITNESS SUCH TERRORS

COURAGE

CUNNING

A BRAVE HEART

THE MIGHT OF YOUR SWORD

AND THE SKULL OF YOUR ENEMY

A GOBLET FROM WHICH
TO DRINK HIS BLOOD

AND A LOCKET TO REMEMBER HIM BY

Always bring a stick of butter

Oceans

Actually i’m on a surfboard in waveless seas shielding my eyes from the light (forgot my sunglasses it always happens) as the sun fizzles out on the horizon

I rode my bike here.

I stayed there with a salty taste in my mouth. Months passed. Sharks circled and passed me by. the sun sank and swam and sank and swam in the dark my secrets whispered then lost to the currents.

the smell of coconut oil and You remember the palm trees calling your name as you drifted away from shore.

Motorcycles

I put on my motorcycle jacket and said goodbye to my babe forever. I always knew that my heart lived in a place… that lay beyond my means and that my bike would take me there.

sorry babe! I will send you some postcards from heaven.

A: forever in my heart

lost another one to charles manson

this is the best hamburger you have ever tasted

this is the universe telling you to chill out

ART IS HUMAN
ACTIVITY HAVING
AS ITS PURPOSE
THE TRANSMISSION
TO OTHERS OF
THE HIGHEST AND
BEST FEELING TO
WHICH WE HAVE
RISEN.
(FANTASY)

HELLO, MY GORGEOUS, GORGEOUS CHILD!!! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? WHAT REALIZATIONS HAVE YOU COME TO UNDER THE BLAZING HEAT & THE LIGHT OF THE SUN.

"does anyone besides me think this is THE best pixies song...its a close tie with wave of mutilation, but this song is just so amazing. the vocals, the lyrics, the guitar. the all mesh together perfectly. the lyrics are actually about the greek myth of SAMSON. he was captured, tied to the pillars, and his captures celebrated his defeat for three days. until he broke his chains, destroying the city walls, and killed everyone. like HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?!?! i love this song"

some maybe life changing suggestions:

• LEAVE YOUR FEAR BEHIND
• SEE SOMETHING NEW WHERE YOU NEVER SAW IT BEFORE
• WEAR A THEMED OUTFIT DESPITE ALL THE RIDICULE
• DRINK MORE WATER
• WALK MORE SLOWLY
• SLEEP ON THE FLOOR
• SLEEP UNDER THE STARS EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE A HOUSE OR APARTMENT
• DON'T DRINK TOO MUCH
• ONCE IN A WHILE DRINK WAY TOO MUCH
• TURN OFF YOUR TELEPHONE
• TAKE A WALK
• NEVER BE ASHAMED ABOUT WHAT YOU LIKE
• SAY HELLO TO YOUR NEIGHBORS
• BE NICE TO YOUR FRIENDS
• IT'S OK TO BE AVERAGE
• YOU'LL BE FINE

*in the style of sylvester stallone*

god believes in you and your mom

YES i think it's true that some people.....
are just night people.
because some people feel terrible in the morning when they wake up

i mean would you rather have fun
or would you rather kill yourself over it

THE INTERNET IS DEFINITELY NOT REAL!!!!!

¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨
¨°º¤ø„¸TECHNO„ø¤º°¨
„ø¤º°¨FOREVER`°º¤ø
from New York City

'CAUSE I LOVE ALL THE POISON AWAY WITH THE BOYS IN THE BAND

people try so hard to act genuine and cool that they forget what they were all about in the first place

-why have you lost your mind
-did you lose your faith in thinking

sometimes when you look at things that you wrote a long time ago you can't really tell what you were thinking about

our palms are empty cause the diamond dust was hard to hold onto, not that we tried that hard anyway; it was fun to watch it all slip through the cracks. we let someone take our star away from us because they whispered gently into our ear and killed us softly with their song. they said it was ok!!!! because this is beautiful!!!!! dance, dance we'll keep an eye on your star, we exalt your endless summer youth my dream can be your dream too, my freedom, your freedom, my fantasy, yours yours mostly mine i'll share— let— give you a taste give me your hand and mm this could be forever!!!!

winter 2 spring everyone stay strong

dance to the beat of your lashes
blinded by those diamond flashes

wish i wuz a honey bear
it would be OK to sit around and eat jars of honey

girl, your wishes can't come true
because you are a girl, not a bear

and you knew that too

sometimes you are just not in the mood to listen to music or read a book or do nothing on the subway.

subway games:

• look at peoples' shoes only and guess what the rest of their body looks like, look up to see if you were right
• close your eyes for 3 subway stops and guess how many people are still on the train
• choose a subject and see how long it takes them to figure out you are staring at them, then smile
• compliment someone
• think about everything you are grateful for
• study each subway rider and imagine what kind of child you would make together

hello Bs and Gs,
for my first communique of the year i would just like to say:

someone will always tell you otherwise
just remember 2010 is the year of the tiger

maybe god got bored

if you really squint i look kind of like james franco.....

pockets were such a good idea

I'M JUST A MAN, I'M NOT A HERO

good taste is so boring

as an alternative, i propose:

• diamonds
  
• mass murder
  
• bad drugs
  
• patriotism
  
• aesthetic death
  
• living room disco
  
• meditation
  
• illumination
  
• love & peace

too mad to live in 2009

your beauty is staggering but it's not enuff.

under the cloak of night
my heart burst
into a million pieces

in the light
of the sun
it seemed like fun

sorry we do things differently around here

oh buddy
help yourself
no one else can

all my love to the honest phonies out there<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

no time to cry in 2009

don't you think that maybe andy warhol was sad and just wanted to be surrounded by fun-loving people?

FOR YOU

WHEN THE MOON IS FULL

only ever wished i smoked cigarettes so i could spend the day on the roof, lounging on the black tar smoking

good looks don't always lead to guts and glory

believe me, i've seen it first hand, the guts and the glory
sometimes blood and good looks.

THE VORTICIST EXCERPTS

Our vortex is not afraid of the Past: it has forgotten its existence.
Our vortex regards the Future as sentimental as the Past.
The new vortex plunges to the heart of the Present.

The Vorticist is not the Slave of Commotion, but its Master.
The Vorticist does not suck up to Life.
He lets Life know its place in a Vorticist Universe!

In a Vorticist Universe we don't get excited at what we have invented.
If we did it would look as though it had been a fluke.
It is not a fluke.

Our vortex is fed up with your dispersals, reasonable chicken-men.
Our vortex is proud of its polished sides.
Our vortex will not hear of anything but its disastrous polished dance.

With our Vortex the Present is the only active thing.
Life is the Past and the Future.
The Present is Art.

no time to die in 2009

turns out we're all just a buncha quantum foam?!?!?!

the best of craigslist missed connections, detroit, 2009-06-30

LOVE YA!^*$*$*$

accordions speak my language

YOU'RE GOING TO DIE SOON;
PLEASE DO WHAT YOU LOVE.

i dropped my clock on the floor and now it is always on the wrong time but who cares

vegetables

"then i knew i couldn't be modern because i couldn't keep up with time"

YOUR OWN IDEAS AND YOUR OWN OPINIONS?

maybe i'll know something when i'm 30

do not want to move, live or die
move, live, or die
live, die or move
die or live, move
live, move, or die

cut it off like a worm or too much hair

i strive to live inefficiently.

the funniest thing you can do is IM or text somebody while you are sitting in the same room

from now on
please only IM and text me when we are in the same room

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
JUSTIFICATION WILL DESTROY THE INTUITIVE SOUL
I DON'T GET TERMINOLOGY
INTELLIGENCE NOT INTELLECTUALIZATION
ATTENTION TO DETAIL
NO MORE IDEAS
DOING THINGS FOR THE SAKE OF DOING THINGS
THE NATURAL SOUL IS DOUBTFUL OF DELIBERATION
ARISTREUDAL & PLAY-DOUGH & SOCK-A-TEES
REALITY AS A COLLECTIVE ILLUSION/DELUSION
IDEALS ARE BY DEFAULT IMPERFECT
THE PERFECT BEING IS ONE WITH HIS OR HER WET FEET
WHEN THERE IS ONE, THERE IS THE OTHER
BEAUTIFUL IS UGLY & UGLY IS BEAUTIFUL
- IS -
VIRTUE RESULTS IN SEPARATIONS
ACCEPTANCE NOT DENIAL
INITIATION NOT IMITATION
TRUE APPRECIATION OF FRIENDS!
YOU ARE FULLY RESPONSIBLE

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

we are here and we are curious, because in our being here, there exists a there, & most of us being dissatisfied with the here, want to know why we are not there.

always has been,
will be,
is

-i don't think you ought to have eyes like that
-what do you mean
-blue ones
-what's wrong with blue eyes
-they give you an unfair advantage
-i don't think so, when i talk to people they don't even listen it's like all they can see are my eyes
-oh, i guess so, i see how that could be a problem
-yeah
-...but if you could would you make your eyes brown instead?
-well... no...

will you try to tell me what is real and i won't believe you because i have seen angels dancing on the tops of blue cars in brooklyn?

less & less thinking, more & more feeling
enough thought to arrive at this moment of feeling

a collector and processor of facts,
a FUCKING MACHINE
at times HALF-HUMAN and HALF-HEARTED

oh say can you SEE!

it only gets as weird as you want it to

living & breathing is optimistic as it gets

absolve others, absolve yourself

guilt—
is an amorphous monster that tends toward self-pity and who likes a self-piteous bastard?

YOU CANNOT EVEN AVOID IT IF YOU TRY.

HOW CAN YOU WHEN IT IS EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER
SEEN, HEARD, SMELLED, TASTED, TOUCHED & BEEN

childish in so many ways

i have faith in all living things even giant spiders the size of my palm that reside in my room enough that i trust it will not crawl out from under my bed at night and feast on my flesh like some other spider did in july

i am happy to be here